CONCORD, N.C. — Stress may be higher than ever for school transportation professionals, but it does not have to dictate performance or personal well-being. That was the central theme during an STN EXPO East conference opening general session, with a keynote that urged attendees to “care less without being careless” in both their professional and personal lives.

Bret E. Brooks, the chief operating officer and senior consultant with Gray Ram Tactical LLC, has worked in pupil transportation security training since 2007, drawing upon a 23-year career in law enforcement as well as 26 years and counting in the U.S. Army National Guard. His forthcoming book, “How to Care Less About Being Careless,” explores the new pressures many people deal with in addition to already demanding jobs.

Technology, 24/7 connectivity, staffing shortages, safety expectations and family responsibilities all collide, he said Friday at the Embassy Suites Charlotte-Concord.

“We are experiencing more stress today than at any point in the past,” he added. “But it is possible to care the right amount.”

Brooks distinguished sharply between being careless and caring less. The latter, he explained, means not giving sufficient attention to critical tasks such as planning for traffic or driving safely, which can result in missed flights, preventable crashes or lax safety practices. Caring less, by contrast, is a deliberate effort to let go of excessive anxiety and over-attachment to minor outcomes so that leaders can think clearly, remain open-minded and solve problems creatively.

He termed this phenomenon the “law of reverse effect,” in which trying too hard produces negative results. He pointed to student-athletes, like his own daughter, who false-started in her first race the day before because she was too obsessively focused on not false-starting. Similarly, motorists who constantly change lanes in heavy traffic find they only continue to fall behind by over-correcting.

A turning point in his own understanding of stress came during a deployment to the U.S. southern border with the National Guard. Brooks was unexpectedly placed in charge of the Joint Visitors Bureau, responsible for planning every VIP visit along 2,000 miles of border, including trips by vice presidents, generals, governors and members of Congress. He described working 20-hour days, seven days a week for six weeks, losing weight, sleeping little and watching his internal “carometer” ping into the red.

Eventually, his commander pulled him aside and told him to care less, but don’t be careless. Brooks said that simple phrase forced him to reconsider whether a mayor waiting 10 minutes for a vehicle or a general missing a helicopter tour was worth sacrificing his health and effectiveness. That mindset later shaped his training work with school districts and conference audiences nationwide.

Throughout Friday morning’s session, Brooks reminded attendees that many of their current stressors did not exist 25 years ago. Streaming subscriptions, smart devices and constant Internet access now occupy mental space that once did not exist, he noted, yet much of that stress is optional and can be reduced. To make the point concrete, he asked attendees to privately write down their top three stressors and, later, their top three life priorities. He then challenged them to compare the two lists.

When stressors and priorities do not match, he said, leaders may be pouring energy into issues that do not support their long-term goals, either at work or at home.

Brooks encouraged participants to look at their lives from a “30,000-foot view,” like the perspective from an airplane window, and to distinguish between “meat” and “gristle” on their plate, citing the famous “Old 96er” scene in the 1988 John Candy movie “The Great Outdoors,” where the late actor John Candy’s character thinks he has finished a 96-ounce steak at a restaurant only to find out he also needs to finish the gristle.

The meat on our collective plates, Brooks said, represents truly essential tasks and responsibilities. The gristle is made up of duties and expectations that can be delegated, rescheduled or removed entirely.

He shared a story about insisting his son clear his plate during a celebratory family dinner to illustrate how easy it is to lose sight of the bigger picture. The point of the outing, he acknowledged in hindsight, was not caloric intake but celebrating his son’s achievement. But focusing on the uneaten food, he left the restaurant with a sick stomach and an unhappy family.

Citing leadership and time-management thinkers Stephen R. Covey and Simon Sinek, Brooks urged transportation professionals to clarify their “why” for being in pupil transportation, to explicitly name their top priorities, and then to schedule those priorities before filling the calendar with routine tasks. He echoed Covey’s guidance that what people do reveals their real priorities more than what they say, stating, “Action expresses priorities.” A leader may claim that spending time with family or focusing on recruitment and retention is a top priority, he observed, but if those items never appear on the daily agenda, they are not true priorities in practice.

Brooks recommended that attendees adopt the “WIN” framework by asking, “What’s important now?” whenever priorities collide. He acknowledged the tension between professional obligations and family events by recounting his own decision to miss his daughter’s regular season track meet to open STN EXPO East. The conference, he said, takes place on a single day and offers a unique opportunity to share information with peers nationwide, while his daughter will have multiple meets later in the season. In other circumstances, such as a state championship or once-in-a-lifetime family event, the equation would change and tip heavily toward making his home life the priority. The WIN question, he said, helps leaders sequence their commitments without abandoning their deeply held values.

The keynote further explored Covey’s urgent-important matrix. Brooks warned against living in the “urgent and important” quadrant, where every day feels like a wrong-way driver bearing down on a school bus. Constant crisis mode, he said, will inevitably push the carometer into dangerous territory.

Instead, he urged participants to move as much of their work as possible into the “important but not urgent” quadrant. In practical terms for school transportation, that means planning back-to-school, in-service training months ahead, forecasting routing, staffing and fleet needs well before school starts, and addressing long-term safety and recruitment strategies before they become emergencies. By contrast, he described much of what appears on television or in sensational news coverage as either “not important and urgent” or “not important and not urgent,” both of which can waste time and attention.

Brooks also addressed conflict management, encouraging a “win-win” mindset with parents, staff, administrators and outside partners. Using simple examples such as a customer buying a Big Mac at McDonald’s, he demonstrated how both sides can walk away with value when solutions are constructed thoughtfully.

He cautioned against turning disagreements into “mutually assured destruction,” where both parties end up worse off, and noted that adversarial approaches in marital or workplace arguments often land in a lose-lose outcome rather than the win-lose or lose-win people imagine.

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Regarding work-life balance, Brooks rejected the idea that people should strive for equal hours on each side of a scale. Instead, he said, the real challenge for school transportation professionals is to weigh events appropriately. A routine workday is roughly equivalent to a routine family day. A major training event or the first day of school, with new routes and new drivers, may outweigh a standard evening at home. On the other hand, a child’s state championship, a wedding, a birth or a funeral should outweigh almost any ordinary work commitment. The goal, he said, is not a perfectly level scale but to ensure it tips in the right direction at the right time and for the right reasons.

Brooks closed by underscoring Covey’s seventh habit of “sharpening the saw.” He shared a story from his family’s farm in Missouri, where he spent a full day cutting trees in an overgrown field without taking breaks. His brother, who arrived later, paused often to hydrate and sharpen his chainsaw, and ultimately felled more trees.

The incident, Brooks said, taught him that grinding nonstop without rest or renewal eventually leads to diminished returns. For transportation leaders, sharpening the saw means attending conferences like STN EXPO East, taking real vacations without working through them, scheduling regular getaways with a spouse or family, and respecting both their own downtime and that of their staff. Calling employees during vacation for non-critical issues, he added, undermines their ability to reset and return ready to perform.

“Life is not an eating contest where you have to finish everything on your plate,” Brooks told the audience. “You can push some things off. You can care less about the right things and still never be careless where it counts, especially when it comes to student safety.”

Article written with the assistance of AI.

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